Unlock Your Power: Opposition or Cooperation - Discover the Choice That Changes Everything
Episode 8 Part 4
Hello and welcome to the final chapter of,
Opposition or Cooperation - You, Have the Power to Choose
in the Tricks of Trauma Program.
In our journey so far, we looked closely at how we interact with each other, and the delicate balance that lies between opposition and cooperation. Now, I am about to unravel, the mystery of how you can cast out, that slippery serpent of opposing energy, once and for all? By the end of this episode, I will be sharing a very powerful trick for your Tricks of Trauma Bag, that makes it easier to form real connections with one another.
It will demonstrate how we can navigate the intricacies of our relationships with newfound wisdom. So, let's turn the page on our last chapter, as the power to choose is always in our hands. Together, we'll discover the path to creating relationships with our fellow earth travelers, in peace, harmony, and cooperation, whilst understanding that we are all interconnected.
So, the question now arises, what else can we do to stop projecting that nasty, slithering snake of opposing energy, and end our conflict?
The answer, my dear friends, lies in the profound act of self-trust and self-acceptance. And the good news is that in this very act, you also unlock your ability to accept the world as it is. In other words, you are no longer burdened by the need to label everything as right or wrong. Your newfound freedom empowers you to make choices unrestrained by judgment. You only have to ask yourself a simple question.
DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT? or DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?
In other words,
DO YOU WANT TO SEEK CONFLICT? or DO YOU WANT TO HAVE PEACE?
There is a tremendous reward when you let go of the need to judge what is right or wrong. What is that reward you might ask? You strengthen your trust in yourself, and you distance yourself from conflicts. You step into your position of power and freedom, as you take responsibility for your being. This practice nurtures a deeper connection with yourself over time. Remember, you are inherently worthy, magnificent, valuable, and deserving simply because you breathe.
Keep in mind there are no quick fixes, magic potions, or short cuts, nor can anyone else climb your mountain for you. The only way up is to change YOURSELF, and you can do it. And you have much support to do so, as the Tricks of Trauma Program stands as a place to assist and encourage you throughout your journey. As you choose to avoid conflict, you effectively stop opposing energies. You seamlessly move into a spirit of co-operation, marked by the acceptance of differences.
You know, I have always wondered why we behave in these really inhumane, and devaluing manners? Why do so many of us struggle to create harmonious and cooperative relationships? And the answer is because we often feel threatened by difference, and by things we don't like, or that we consider wrong, or don’t agree with, and therefore they are not acceptable to our personal way of seeing things.
You know what I mean, just like those people you have to deal with, who have different beliefs, viewpoints, perspectives, ideas, theories, facts, in whatever subject it is, who really don’t know anything. Yeah, all those people. And we automatically get triggered and oppose them, by disagreeing, disgracing, shaming, even excommunicating loved ones, arguing, fighting, debating, and in this time framework canceling, until we are blue in the face, defending what we believe is so absolutely true. And in those moments what energy are we projecting? The energy of OPPOSITION.
I always wondered why do so many of us do that, and behave in such unkind ways? And after years of trying to figure this all out, I finally know why. Because it is a symptom of trauma. We learned these behaviors in order to protect ourselves from abuse. And unless we become aware of what we are doing ourselves, as there is no point in blaming our abusers, and see what we are doing, well then how can you change what you don’t like, what is painful, hurts, discourages, and leaves us feeling bereft and tired.
How do we stop this madness, so we can change our energy to be cooperative instead? How do we heal our psychological wounds, so that difference no longer threatens us, but becomes a welcome exploration of seeing new ways of being. A world in which uniqueness and individuality become celebrated, encouraged, and to unite with our fellow earth travelers as we return to honoring ourselves, once again. And just as importantly, that we finally stop fighting with ourselves as well?
How do we stop lamenting on what we should have done, or frustrating ourselves with what we should be doing, wishing for things to be different? Telling ourselves that who we are and what we have is not good enough. Discounting ourselves by constantly affirming that I am not good enough to be able to do what I want, and to be able to create my reality in which I can be content. To find what gives me a feeling of satisfaction, so that I can truly appreciate my existence, and my exploration here on earth as I travel through my life.
How do I stop the conflict I find myself drowning in? If only they would listen to me, then I would be happy. They never do what they are told. If only I had more money, if only I had friends, if only I had gold and silver and more trinkets, if only I had my fancy car, and you continue your state of aggravation, for hours, days, perhaps even weeks or months. Constantly paying attention to what everyone else is doing, and what you don’t have enough of. And so, you remain in the state of judging yourself to be not good enough. Could this be why so many people live their life as if they are starring in the movie “Groundhog Day,” as they run about on automatic pilot.
Let me ask you, have you ever been in a situation where everything seems to explode into chaos, and you find yourself caught up in conflict with others? Or are you depressed, filled with self-doubt, compromising your values, and caught in your own inner conflict, feeling alone and misunderstood. In the midst of this turmoil, do you experience a sudden "aha" moment, where you think you have found the answer to all this madness.
“I know how I will stop this fight—I'll snuggle in my cozy den of denial, and close this cruel world out of my sight. Phew, now I can breathe. What a relief that is! You inhale deeply, savoring your newfound tranquility. I think I’ll pour myself a glass of wine, or roll a joint, and yes, some phone scrolling is in order.
Who needs to put up with all that crap anyway? After all, I am just fine. It’s everyone else who has the problem. And so, you have tricked yourself into thinking that you have banished conflict and turmoil from your life. But have you really?
Are you nestled in your cave, knowing that you are enough?
Are you genuinely content within yourself, immersed in the present moment, or are you just distracting yourself?
Are you satisfied with yourself, proud of your achievements, what you create, genuinely appreciating your wondrousness?
Is your mind calm, at peace, undisturbed by what others are doing, or by whatever happened?
Perhaps, but not likely. What you have done however, is disconnect and narrow the scope of your reality, spinning on your perpetual hamster wheel of what happened in the past, or may happen in the future. You may temporarily distract yourself, as the contents of your cell phone grab your attention, and the effect of the wine or weed begins to relax and mellow you out. But your disconnection from others or yourself, by running away, or retreating if you prefer, is because you judge they are unworthy of your attention. It’s as if you see some kind of deficiency in them and yourself, and you both fall short. Once again, you deem them and yourself as not good enough, and your syndrome continues.
After all, there is something seriously wrong with them you justify as you mutter to yourself. But don’t fool yourself, you are still making the choice to remain in conflict, even if you cloak yourself as a hermit in your cave, disconnecting from the world and all your fellow earth travelers. Whether they are your family, neighbors, or your community.
Remember, when you heal your trauma, your natural tendency is to connect with others, as conflict becomes replaced with cooperation. Our natural inclination as people is to be in the company of others, and as social creatures to connect with them. It is extremely important to our mental health not to isolate ourselves, as this causes so many of our challenges. Remember, isolation is a form of mental torture. That’s why they put prisoners in isolation.
If you're nodding your head in agreement, or if these words have resonated with you so far, consider your next steps carefully. Is this the life you really want to live, a life where conflict stirs within you, masked by the veneer of solitude? The journey toward a more fulfilling existence begins with acknowledging your patterns, confronting them, and choosing a path that leads to genuine connection, acceptance, and allows your brilliant transformation to take hold.
This is a journey we must embark upon together, and overcome the boundaries of isolation and fear we have imprisoned ourselves in. Each one of us holds the key to unlock ourselves from its walls, and find ourselves in a place where we foster unity, compassionate understanding, harmony, and cooperation instead.
Just imagine a world where we could break free from this endless cycle, and truly collaborate with one another, in the way we defined cooperation in the previous chapter. Picture a world where each individual's unique expressions flow freely.
You might wonder, how is that even possible? How can we bring such a vision to life?
It all begins when we stop throwing hurtful judgments in each other's direction. It's that moment of profound realization when you understand that you can simply be your genuine self, without the need to conform or comply to preconceived ideas of 'good' or 'bad.' How liberating does that sound?
You're free to honor your own beliefs and truths, even if they diverge from those held by others, while you still respect their convictions. In other words, even if you don’t see eye to eye, their beliefs and perspectives don't rattle your inner peace. They don't provoke or trigger you. Their viewpoints simply stop holding any more sway over you. You can acknowledge their point of view, without necessarily having to embrace, like it, or even agree with it. How wonderful is that?
So how do we accomplish and accept ourselves just as we are? What strategies do we need to learn? And the simple truth is, you don’t really need a strategy. Instead, you can play a game to bring a halt to opposing energy, that is quite potent. Would you like to know the name of the powerful game you can play is?
It’s called The Quest for No Conflict. And it has only one very simple rule to follow in order to play. And don’t be tricked into thinking bah, what is that going to do? I am a mess, I need analysis, I need to figure out why I am so screwed up. But you really don’t. Remember you are not broken and you don’t need to be fixed. You just need to learn one rule to play the game of, The Quest for No Conflict, which if I may also add, it also has the power to be remarkably healing. Do you want to know what the rule is to play?
YOU INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE NO CONFLICT. Remember, you always have the power to choose. There is nothing to fix, you are not broken, and this has nothing to do with avoidance either, in psychological terms.
In that line of thinking, you may believe that avoiding conflicts is a good strategy, but it can actually make things worse, and the game I am sharing is not about escaping the issue. When you avoid dealing with issues, you're holding back your true feelings and thoughts, which of course can lead to more problems, as your energy container will fill up. It's like trying to protect yourself by keeping your emotions bottled up, and forget how this can backfire and cause you even more trouble. Remember, you don’t want things to go KABOOM!
In the "No Conflict Scenario" game, there's more healing potential than you may realize. Therefore, it's not about avoidance, but rather it’s about learning how to handle situations without getting trapped in conflicts. It's a game that can help you find a more peaceful, and harmonious way of dealing with things. And when you play the game, you ask yourself,
WHAT CAN I OFFER MYSELF IN THE PRESENT MOMENT TO RESOLVE MY CONFLICT?
Now stop and give yourself the answer to that question. Let’s face it, it is not a mystery that you need to phone Agatha Christie to solve for you, nor is it hidden from you, in some cave in Tibet. You may be surprised at how quickly you come up with your answer, once you start playing the game. After all, everyone knows what brings conflict and what doesn’t. It’s not something you need to google or even research.
When we allow conflict and our opposing energies to run willy-nilly, we confuse ourselves. The only way to end our confusion, and therefore the opposition in our world is to choose the NO CONFLICT SCENARIO. And once you can accept yourself just as you are, and you say,
Hey, I am choosing not to have conflict.
I don’t want to be part of it anymore.
I know that I don’t have to justify my choices, and there is also no judgment placed on my choices.
Why? Because it is what it is.
This is my choice and it is acceptable,” and voila, you have freed yourself from this insidious energy, and you are healing your trauma, since you no longer need to be in “I have to protect me mode,” raise your shield, and become defensive. And best of all, you fly out of the victim vortex.
Yet, why is this so hard to do? Once again, because it is not familiar. It is not something you are used to doing. You are not used to looking at yourself and examining how you are reacting, what you believe to be so absolutely true, to the point that it is triggering your reaction, which is what is leading you to your conflict. You are however accustomed to looking at the other person and automatically placing judgment on what they are doing, as you justify what you are doing. This is the gigantic pitfall that you must avoid at all costs. Instead, evaluate within yourself what is triggering you to react the way you do, when you disagree with someone else. And how can you find a way to respond to them instead.
So, pay attention, as this is very important to realize when you play the game of ‘The Quest for No Conflict,’ and be sure to avoid this booby trap at all costs. Remember each time you create no conflict scenarios, you are moving in the direction of accepting and trusting yourself, and you are moving up your mountain. And there is an added bonus, you automatically move into acceptance of others, once you can accept yourself. I call that automagically. As you accomplish playing the game, you will at long last come to see how high up you have climbed.
However, if you find yourself worried, concerned, or wrapped up in frustration and other conflicting emotions, you're trapped in a state of opposing energy. The solution is to start playing The Quest for No Conflict game in order to change and become the best me you can be. Remember, harboring feelings of guilt is essentially judging yourself harshly, so be compassionate with yourself and don't blame yourself either.
As I have mentioned, we're all in this big kettle of fish together, dealing with the ongoing effects of trauma, from the Shockwave of past wars right up to our present-day challenges. This is a collective effort to heal and transform ourselves, and to ultimately restore our humanity. And it all begins with one person at a time, starting with you.
When you're playing The Quest for No Conflict game, and you are in it to win it, you will find it easy to accept that others have different beliefs and actions. You graciously acknowledge and allow them to believe whatever they choose, to be their own version of success, to have their own ideas, as their reality is fully acceptable in its own right. You no longer allow those differences to bother you because you understand that everyone's choices don't have to be the same as yours.
This is how you practice moving into accepting yourself. Remind yourself, that it is never a matter of RIGHT or WRONG. It simply is the expression of CONFLICT or NO CONFLICT. And every time you play the no conflict game, you strengthen your conviction in your trust and acceptance of yourself. You stop playing, oh my gosh I should have done this, or I should be this way, as whenever you “should on yourself” you are not in your present moment, where you always hold your power. Remember, there is never anything you should have to be or should have to do. That in itself presents much conflict in your energy.
And so, we conclude this episode with the realization that whatever creates trauma or conflict in your life, you have the power to heal and eliminate it. You know, cut it off, decapitate it, sever it, with the sword of appreciation, and then make a choice that holds no conflict. The key is to pay attention to what energy you are tangled up with, deal with it, by acknowledging what you are doing, and then address it. And this is how you change it. It really is that simple, yet I do understand very challenging to do. Why? Because it is very, very, and I mean very unfamiliar.
Remind yourself that as you continue practicing your new art, like any skill it may demand some extra time and energy. However, with dedication, you will undergo a significant transformation. You'll reach a point where this approach becomes second nature, and you won't even have to think about these energy dynamics anymore. You will notice right away what you are doing.
With practice and patience, you will finally spin your wheels out of the mudhole and move forward. This is an incredible contribution each one of us can make for our world, as it guides us toward making it so much better for each and every precious earth traveler.
Now, let’s tell the story of Emily and Jake’s discovery of cooperation, that illustrates how they finally found a way to collaborate together, as YOU, always have the power to choose. Are you ready? Let’s begin:
"Exploring New Adventures by Sharing Vacation Dreams"
"Florida this year?" Jake's eyes lit up as he spread out a brochure showcasing sun-soaked beaches, and fun filled theme parks.
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Again? We've already been there Jake, twice in a row I might add. I was thinking that maybe a cabin in the mountains this time, might be a better idea for a change."
"Mountains? Come on, Emily. We're talking about having a wonderful vacation, not a survival retreat with mosquitos chewing our butts. Besides, beaches mean relaxation, and fun in the sun."
"Jake, fun in the sun isn't everything. A cabin means cozy fires, hikes in the woods, and quiet time for us to be together. Besides, we've done the beach thing hundreds of times; don’t you think it's time for something different," she countered.
"Aww come on Emily, the beach rejuvenates us. You love the sound of the waves, walking barefoot on the sandy beach, and breathing the salty breeze – it's like therapy. You said that, remember?"
"Yeah, I did, but how about the therapy of being surrounded by towering trees, and crisp mountain air? Jake, I know how much you love hiking, and I could use some peaceful time to read."
Jake sighed. "I just feel like we're always stuck in this loop, Em. We always end up arguing about where to go, and I am getting sick and tired of it."
As the tension hung in the air, Emma's phone buzzed with a message from a friend. "Hey, remember that conversation we had about vacation places? Well, Lisa went to this amazing lakeside resort in the Okanagan. It's got hiking trails and a beautiful beach!"
Jake peeked at the message over her shoulder. Hmmm he thought. "That could be a possibility. A place that has both mountains and a beach," he quietly considered this idea.
Emma nodded, a thoughtful smile forming. "Exactly. It's like having our cake and eating it too,” she squealed.
And so, they spent hours researching the lakeside resort, envisioning days spent hiking and evenings by the water. The more they looked into it, the more they realized that this resort satisfied what they both wanted.
As they booked their vacation to the lakeside resort, they felt a newfound sense of unity. The excitement of exploring uncharted territory, both in their relationship and in their vacation choices, brought them closer than ever before.
Their trip to the Okanagan ended up being a mix of everything they both imagined. They hiked in the woods, spent evenings around a campfire, and enjoyed leisurely days by the lake. Their conversations flowed freely, unburdened by any opposing energy. They realized that compromise wasn't the only way to find common ground; sometimes, it was about expanding their horizons and embracing possibilities they hadn't considered before.
As they sat on the beach by the lake one evening, watching the sunset paint the sky in warm hues, Emma leaned her head on Jake's shoulder. "You know, Jake, I am so glad we realized that it's not just about mountains or beaches. It's about being together, and I am so happy being here, creating our new memories. I love you," and Emily kissed Jake on his cheek.
Jake then took Emily in his arms, and they embraced together as the sun fell over the horizon.
He then smiled, squeezing her hand. "You're absolutely right, Em. And this trip has shown me that there's a whole world out there for us to explore, and I wouldn’t want to be doing it within anyone other than you by my side."
And so, under the canvas of the Okanagan sky, they learned that vacation choices were not confined to just two opposing options. There was a world of possibilities waiting to be discovered, and their journey to the lakeside resort had taught them that unity was also not about compromise, but about embracing the adventure of finding new ways together, through the power of co-operation.
This tale of unity and exploration of cooperation leads us to a fundamental truth — the power of honoring others' unique perspectives.
It's incredibly important for each of us to grasp this concept, as we possess the ability to respect and HONOR others without the need to label them as being right or wrong, good or bad. We must restore this sense of respect amongst ourselves, a sense that was stripped away by the shockwave of World War 2, and the current state of our world. This respect is reinstated when we acknowledge that every person on this precious planet has their own unique point of view, and that's perfectly okay. You can HONOR them without having to embrace or even endorse their viewpoints.
Why? Because you now understand that you have your own way of seeing things, your personal preferences, your beliefs, and your truths. These ideas are deeply personal and significant to you, but you no longer insist that others must adopt your perspective, agree with you, or even share your beliefs. You grant them the space to have their own.
I want to emphasize this repeatedly because this is just one of three pivotal actions that will lead us toward peace and harmony. What are the other two actions you might ask? One involves becoming self-directing and the third action you position yourself as your own authority. These three changes in your actions, is how we approach making a profound shift in our world. This paradigm shift, changes the actions we have been taking from the dawn of our civilizations. We as a global collective, are currently in the heart of this transformation.
So, let’s all begin to HONOR and cooperate with our fellow earth travelers, no matter where we go, and let go of whatever differences that threaten you. When the threat is gone, you can appreciate yourself leave your fortress, as you lower the drawbridge and escape your dark dungeon. You will meet many wonderful fellow earth travelers beyond your damp castle walls, and enjoy their companionship. After all, each and every one of us, is entitled to our own opinions, beliefs, values, preferences, and exploration of our focus here on earth, are we not?
So, look for those who encourage, inspire, uplift, and who also are climbing up their mountain. Like threads weaving a magnificent pattern, each one of us contributes to the whole of humanity. It is very much like a tapestry, where each strand adds to the entire pattern. When one thread begins to shine, it breathes life into the entire fabric. On the other hand, when one strand loses its brilliance, it affects and begins to dim the tapestry, or in this metaphor our shared humanity. This is why each and every one of us is so incredibly important. We are all weaved together in a grand web of interconnectedness. And this is why it is so vital to remember that every action and gesture you make toward another, ripples through this intricate network, and inevitably returns to touch you.
Whatsoever you do unto another, that you do unto yourself, for you are an integral part of the tapestry of humanity. Remember, you cannot separate yourself from it, as if you are an isolated thread blowing in the wind. We are all connected and our actions have profound impacts on the world around us. You are always emanating energy from your personal bubble, and you always have the power to choose whether it is oppositional, or cooperative. In other words, whether you go against those who don’t subscribe to your viewpoint, or you choose to find peace in acceptance of difference. You follow and trust your own direction, and you listen to your own inner guidance and become the authority of your own life.
As we draw the curtains on this episode, I hope you've found inspiration in the security of knowing, you have the power to choose, and the transformative potential of cooperation. Remember, your actions and your energy ripple through the interconnected web of our humanity, and every choice you make that is to your greatest benefit, contributes to making our world a better place, and I am optimistic that we will finally have peace on earth. One person at a time. As it always begins with YOU.
And so, my dear friends and fellow travelers on your path to healing and transformation, your stories matter, and your experiences hold the key to understanding and overcoming trauma. I invite you to share your challenges, your struggles, and how your psychological wounds are affecting your life. By sharing your stories, you become part of a collective journey towards healing. Your experiences will shape the upcoming episodes, as we begin to examine your 'Trauma X-rays.'
Together, we'll continue exploring how to apply the Tricks of Trauma to assist us in our healing and our transformation. Your courage to share is the first step to empowerment, and your journey could inspire and help others on a similar path. Remember, you are not alone, and, we can embark on our healing journey and transformation together. As always, one person at a time. So won’t you join me.
In the meantime, keep nurturing the flame of cooperation, and be prepared for a captivating exploration of how we can govern ourselves in our next episode. I can't wait to share more of this transformative journey with you. So, stay tuned!
Until next time,
Take self-care